Does Love Always Forget?
by Gilly Bean
Summary: Sometimes, the love of your life is called back to his homeland with no idea when he'll return. And sometimes, a Little Wolf leaves a Cherry Blossom alone in a very delicate predicament, completely unaware. The Li clan is up to no good, Sakura's sure...RR
1. Important Note!

Authors Note:

Okay, guys. So, I thought about working some more on this story, and therefore read through it. I could not even get through the first chapter, I hated it so much. Therefore, I am removing it all and rewriting the story. For the most part, the storyline will follow the same arc, with some changes. Some of the changes will be pretty big, though. Anyway, let me know what you think, as I should be posting the new Chapter One soon. Im actually sort of excited about this!

Until next time,

Gilly Bean


	2. Without Goodbye

**Does Love Always Forget?**

_You know, it's nothing new  
Bad news never had good timing  
Then, circle of your friends  
Will defend the silver lining_

_Pain throws your heart to the ground_  
_Love turns the whole thing around_  
_No it won't all go the way it should_  
_But I know the heart of life is good_

_-The Heart of Life, John Mayer_

**Chapter 1: Without Goodbye**

Once upon a time, there was a Cherry Blossom. She was vibrant and cheerful, fragile and innocent. She was clumsy and chronically late, but those closest to her knew that she was dependable above anything else. One day, the Cherry Blossom met a Little Wolf. He was wary, worldly. He did not trust easily, but he was loyal to the death to those that he found worthy of his trust. As the Cherry Blossom and Little Wolf got to know one another, they fell in love and set off on what was supposed to be their adventure...their life...but sometimes things get complicated. Sometimes, the love of your life gets called back to his homeland to take care of family business with no idea of when he will be able to return. And sometimes...a Little Wolf leaves a Cherry Blossom alone in a very delicate predicament, completely unaware.

* * *

The day started much like most have recently: with me puking my guts up in the bathroom. _This is the stomach virus that just won't say die,_ I think. Wiping my mouth with a tissue, I haul myself up off my knees in front of the toilet and thoroughly brush my teeth. If the virus sticks to the rough routine it has followed the last three days, I should be fine for at least a few hours. Then the puking starts again in the afternoon or evening, which is when it is the worst. _Ugh. Don't think about it, Sakura._ _And definitely don't mention it to Syaoran. Or Tomoyo. They'll overreact._

As much as I hate to admit it, because I love having him around, I'm glad Syaoran is out for his jog this morning while I get sick. He worries too much about me, and God knows he has enough to worry about already without adding my measly cold onto the list. Just as I flush the toilet and finish up in the bathroom, I hear a key in the lock and go to greet my conquering warrior at the door. Something about the way he looks when he comes in from his morning run always makes my mouth water, and this morning is no exception. His hair is a mess, he's sweaty, and he sort of stinks, but damn am I having a hard time holding myself back from just jumping him. Instead, I walk over and greet him with a kiss, losing my hands in his wild hair. He smiles against my lips and slides his hand up to caress my jaw, his other hand settling on my hip.

"Good morning, Sakura," he says when we break for air. Suddenly feeling shy, I look down and study his shirt where my hand rests against his chest. This makes him chuckle, and I can feel the vibrations travel through my hand to my heart. Every time he laughs is a treasure to me, having known him as a child when he never smiled, let alone laughed. Lifting my eyes again, I take in his smiling face and am in awe of this beautiful man in my arms. God, how I love him. He tucks some of my hair behind my ear and steers me away from the door so he can close it, which is when I realize I practically mauled Syaoran in the hallway of our apartment building. I can feel my face becoming red.

"What time did you say your classes are over today?" Syaoran questions as a smirk takes over his face. His smirk only grows when I send him a mock-glare for taking pleasure in my embarrassment.

"Umm...my last class was canceled, so I'm done at noon, then I have work until six and I have to finish up working on my Bachelors thesis at the library. You?"

"Same as usual." This means that he has work and classes until at least six, and then he'll be at the library until all hours. Like he needs to put in extra hours studying; he graduated a year early with perfect grades for his undergraduate and _then_ got accepted into graduate school...no small feat at Todai. The man is a genius.

"Why do you have to study so much, Syaoran?" So I'm whining, sue me. This has been a sore spot for the two of us for a while now: I think Syaoran is never around and that he is choosing school over me; he thinks I need to accept that this is something he has to do if he wants to be successful in the future. Plus, he is always quick to remind me that his future success will provide for us and whatever family we have; and how the hell am I supposed to stay mad at him when he is talking about our future and alluding to our children? I can't, and therefore the argument usually ends there. Well, usually it ends with us making up...which I'm convinced is pretty much the reason couples argue in the first place.

"Sakura, you know it is very important that I get experience working in a top firm, and it is also very important that I get good marks in my classes." Yes, yes, I know that. But he could still ace his classes by putting in half the effort that he does. Don't get me wrong, I love that he is so dedicated to his education. What I don't love is going to bed without him, and it has happened more than a few times the last couple months. After living with him for almost two years, I'm used to having him in the bed next to me, used to his body pressed up against mine, used to the heat his body generates beneath the covers, and when he isn't there I have a hard time falling asleep. Thank the Lord the semester is almost over, because I really don't think I would last much longer. Although, I'm pretty sure that Syaoran is going to continue working on his Master's thesis, because I don't think he wants to have to do too much of that come April.

I'm currently leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, watching as Syaoran puts on a pot of coffee. Well, to be honest, Syaoran removed his shirt between the living room and the kitchen and I'm more interested in the way the muscles in his back shift as he makes his coffee. As I'm admiring my boyfriend's bare torso, a whiff of the coffee beans reaches me and hits me in the gut. I have to turn around and leave the room, taking deep breaths of odor-free air to prevent the smell from making me sick. Odd. That's never happened before. Coffee is usually a pleasant smell to me.

"Sakura? Are you okay?" Apparently, Syaoran noticed my reaction.

"Yeah. Yes, just tired." This _is_ true, though I immediately feel guilty for not telling the whole truth. It seems like lately, no matter how much sleep I get, I'm always exhausted. Syaoran watches me for a moment, and I'm employing all of my self-discipline not to squirm. Crossing the room, he pulls me close to his body by the hips and kisses me on the top of the head.

"I'll be home earlier tonight, okay? I'll skip my study group." I nod, enjoying being in his arms too much to bother with talking. Plus, it is nice to know that he notices my trouble sleeping in his absence and is willing to put me first in his life. All too soon, though, it is time for us to finish getting ready and head out for the day, and he slowly lets me go. That night, I get my best sleep in days curled up in Syaoran's arms, my head using his bare chest as a pillow.

* * *

Things continue like that for the last weeks of the semester, Syaoran and I spending whatever time we can manage together, and me trying desperately to hide my puking from everyone, but especially Syaoran. There were a couple close calls at my college graduation, but somehow I've managed to be pretty successful at hiding my sickness. So far, the only one to really notice has been Kero, and he has surprisingly kept it to himself. However, I have noticed that instead of the puking getting better it has been getting worse. Finally, shortly after my twenty-second birthday I've had enough and I call the doctor to schedule an appointment. I have to wait a week and a half before they can fit me in, but as long as I manage to keep things under wraps until then that should be fine. The day after I called to schedule the doctors appointment, I come home from work to find Syaoran sitting on the couch. That alone is not unusual, but the fact that his head is in his hands and he does not even seem to notice that I'm home _is_ odd.

"Syaoran?" He jumps and looks up at me. "Whats wrong, babe?"

"Come here." Reaching out, he pulls me onto his lap, and I'm happy to cuddle with him. We stay like that for a while, Syaoran holding me close, neither of us saying anything. My hand runs through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp the way I know he likes. When Syaoran clears his throat and pushes me back so that I'm looking into his eyes, I still my hands and give him my undivided attention.

"I got a phone call from my sister, Fuutie, today." Shit, calls from his family are seldom good news for me. They almost always involve...I won't go down that road. Instead, I focus back on Syaoran.

"Okay...what did she have to say? Is everybody okay?" Please let the call have been about something like Sheng having finally proposed to Feimei, or Fanren and Jun expecting a baby...good news that doesn't necessarily require that Syaoran return home.

"No."

"Did Meiling elope or something?" This gets a small smile out of him as he shakes his head.

"I have to go home, Sakura."

"You _are_ home, Syaoran." Damn, it's exactly what I feared. The Li Clan always drags him away from me, every time we make progress they call and summon him back. And Syaoran is too responsible to ever turn them down.

"Believe me, this is the first place I've ever called home. But as much as I don't want to, I have to go back to Hong Kong, Sakura."

"Why?"

"My mother is sick, and they need me to come back to run the business and lead the family until she is feeling better."

"Oh...well how long do you think that will take?"

"I'm not sure. It might take a while, Sakura. Mother is pretty sick."

"What is wrong with her? Will she be all right? And why can't someone else do this, Syaoran?"

"She has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The doctors said that she has to take it easy for a while. She'll have to make a lot of changes in her life, her diet first of all; she has to start taking medicines and doing a specific exercise routine...It got bad, Sakura. She was forgetting things, getting confused; the business got a bit messed up. I'm the man of the family, Sakura; this is my duty, my responsibility."

Burying my head in Syaorans shoulder, I try to collect myself. I want to beg him to stay, to never leave me, to keep me close to him always. At the same time, I know why he has to go back, and I admire him for going; for giving up his own life to make sure that his mother and sisters are secure and that the family business continues to run smoothly. My warring emotions are making it hard for me to refrain from bawling. However, neither of us will benefit if I burst into tears, and I'm not even sure why I'm having to hold back sobs...it isn't like he's leaving tonight or anything. Thankfully, the feel of Syaorans arms around my body soothes me enough to keep the weepy feeling at bay.

"Can you give me an idea of how long you'll be gone, Syaoran?" My voice comes out sounding more pitiful than I intended, my struggle against tears all too obvious.

"I don't know Sakura. I will have to look into possibly transferring my classes there, because Mother won't be up to running things for at least six months, and who knows how long it will take me to figure out where things got messed up in the business."

"I hate it when the Li Clan calls you back to Hong Kong, Syaoran. I miss you when you're just studying late at the library; it's almost unbearable to think of you so far away."

"I know, Sakura. I don't like being away from you any more than you like being away from me. But my sisters and mother need me, and I'm really the only one that can step up, Sakura. Sheng and Jun dont know about the business like I do, and my sisters aren't really all that good at managing that kind of thing."

"Well when do you have to leave? Not immediately, right?"

"I have to leave next Thursday." The same day as my doctors appointment. Wonderful. I extricate myself from Syaorans arms and grab my bag, my frustration showing, I'm sure. Just as I'm about to go to our bedroom to pout, Syaoran halts me by grasping my arm.

"Don't be mad at me, Sakura." Despite his hold on my arm, I don't turn back around to face him because right now I'm a second away from flying off the handle.

"I'm not mad at _you_, Syaoran. I'm just...mad at the situation. Why is it that _every _time we're happy, _every_ time things settle down for us, you get dragged back to Hong Kong? It's like your family thinks you are becoming too content, and that you might be getting out of their reach, so they have to haul you back so they can reassert their power over you!" Syaoran lets go of my arm and runs his hands through his hair, turning away from me for a moment.

"Sakura...my family did not _plan_ for my mother to get sick. This isn't part of some **scheme** to ruin my happiness. They need me to come home for a while so I can get things straightened out, and Mother can recover. Once Mother is well again and I have everything running smoothly, I'll be on the first plane back here."

Spinning to face Syaoran, I cannot hold back a bitter laugh. "You mean, like all the _other_ times that you went back there and just immediately returned to me, Syaoran?" Shaking my head, I hitch my bag further up on my shoulder and change direction, heading for the front door instead of our bedroom. When I snatch my keys off the table by the door Syaoran curses under his breath and captures my hand again to stop me.

"Where are you going, Sakura?"

_"Out_."

"Sakura." He reaches out and gently forces me to look him in the eyes. Dang it, I cannot resist that amber gaze pleading with me.

"I'm going to Tomoyo's." Because I know she'll be a sympathetic ear; she knows as well as I do how calculating the Li Clan can be.

"And are you planning on coming back here tonight?"

"To be perfectly honest, Syaoran, I don't have a clue what I'm going to do. I just...I'm—" my voice cracks and I take a deep breath to stave off tears. "I just don't want to lose you, and it _terrifies_ me every time you go home." Sniffling, I bat away the tear that falls down my cheek.

"You know as well as I do, Syaoran, that when you're there, you mysteriously don't get my phone calls or letters, nothing. You're cut off from me."

"Well then I'll have to make sure that doesn't happen. Don't cry, Sakura." He pulls me back into his arms, and I vaguely hear my bag hitting the floor as it falls off my shoulder, but I'm too busy sobbing to pay it any attention. Syaoran just holds me, soothing me with his voice, his hands rubbing my back, and as I start to calm down, he kisses the tears off my cheeks, which gets me to crack a small smile.

"Feeling better?"

"A bit. It still scares the crap out of me that you'll be going back to Hong Kong."

"Are you still going to Tomoyo's?"

"Maybe. What ya gonna give me if I stay?" Syaoran smirks, and proceeds to kiss me so thoroughly that I can barely remember my name when he pulls away. "So it's like that, huh?" I pull him back to me, and as he kisses me my hands travel under his shirt and up, pulling the article of clothing over his head.

"It's most definitely like that." Syaoran leans down and lifts me into his arms.

"Bedroom?" He only grins in response as he carries me into our room and drops me on the bed. The look in his eyes as he towers over me, watching me, makes me shiver. Syaoran reaches out and runs his hand down my arm to my hip, then up under my shirt, which is soon rumpled on the floor. Before I know it, the rest of our clothes have joined my shirt, and I'm gasping as Syaoran makes love to me.

It is the most intense sex I've ever had, and when Syaoran collapses on me afterwards and says only, "Wow," I know he concurs.

"Agreed." Syaoran rolls off of me, and I snuggle into his side as he lazily plays with my hair. The sound of his heartbeat calming under my ear lulls me to sleep, and the last thing I'm aware of is him kissing my forehead and telling me he loves me.

* * *

You know how time always drags by when you are having to do something you find unpleasant or you are waiting for a class or the work day to be over, but then seems to rush past when you are having a good time or you have some event coming up you aren't looking forward to? Well, I definitely fit into the latter category. Knowing that Syaoran would soon be leaving for an indefinite amount of time, I spent as much time with him as possible, but it still seems like I've barely blinked since he told me and already he is getting ready to leave. At least my vomiting has slowed down. As a matter of fact, I debated canceling my doctors appointment, but I decided that it would be better to just go since I _am_ still occasionally getting sick, and my exhaustion has been ridiculous. That is why, four hours before Syaoran is scheduled to fly out, I'm sitting in the waiting room flipping mindlessly through a magazine.

When they finally call me back twenty minutes later, the nurse takes all my basic vitals and then tells me to change into the gown and the doctor will be with me shortly. After changing into the stiff gown, I sit there waiting for another twenty or so minutes before the doctor finally enters the room.

"Sakura, how are you feeling today?"

"I've been better."

"So tell me what has been going on?"

"I've had a stomach virus, I think. It has been hard to keep things down, especially first thing in the morning and after lunch."

"Okay." She makes a note in the file. "Any other symptoms?"

"Um, I'm constantly tired. And, the last week or so I've been getting a lot of headaches and heartburn. I _never_ get heartburn."

"How long has this been going on?"

"The stomach thing has been going on for about five weeks off and on. Some days I'm fine, other days it is horrible. I've been feeling exhausted for about the same amount of time. The heartburn and the headaches have really only been within the last week."

"And have you had your period like normal?"

"Yes. Well, last month it was lighter than usual, and it is about a week late this month, but I've never been all that regular."

"Okay, I'm going to order a quick blood test. The nurse will be back in a moment to draw some blood. Once I get the results, I'll come back in to see you, okay?" Once the doctor leaves, my nurse comes in and takes some blood, and then I'm left sitting there for another thirty minutes before my doctor reappears with the nurse.

"Okay, Sakura. I put a rush on this with the lab, because I was fairly certain about the results."

"What were they?"

"Congratulations, Ms. Kinomoto, you are pregnant. From what you have said, I would guess that you are about eight weeks along, so we're going to go ahead and do your first prenatal exam. We're going to draw some more blood for some tests and get a urine sample from you, do a quick physical exam, and then we'll go ahead and do a pelvic exam on you."

I can only nod, because my brain stopped working at _pregnant_. Oh, shit. This is so far from the ideal time to be finding this out. How did I not suspect that? Why didn't I schedule a doctor's appointment earlier? Because all I can think about as the doctor does her exams is that, if I manage to get to the airport in time, I'm going to have to tell Syaoran we're having a baby and then send him off to Hong Kong. But that is far preferable to the other alternative: Syaoran getting on his plane without me being able to tell him. Glancing at the clock, I get anxious to be out of this room and on my way to the airport. When the exam and everything is finally over I only have an hour to get to the airport. There is no way I'll make it, but I'll be damned if I won't try.

Literally running to my car, I don't give myself time to think about anything but the fact that I have to get to the airport. Making it there in record time, I do a shoddy job parking and sprint for the entrance. Syaoran was going to wait in the lobby as long as he could before going through security, and that is where I head. However, as I get close, I can feel my stomach drop as the only people I see are Tomoyo and Eriol. I'm too late. Fuck. The dropping feeling in my stomach suddenly turns into nausea, and I'm sprinting for the closest garbage bin where my stomach summarily empties itself. As I continue to heave everything I've eaten today, I feel hands brush my forehead and hold my hair as they rub my back. When I'm done, I slowly stand up straight and turn to face Tomoyo and Eriol.

"Where _were_ you, Sakura?" Tomoyo questions.

"Yeah, we tried calling your phone but it just kept going straight to voicemail. Syaoran finally had to go ahead and leave to get through security in time to catch his plane," Eriol adds.

Groaning, I reach into my purse and pull out my cell phone, showing them that it is powered off. "I forgot to turn it back on after my appointment. I didn't...I didn't get to say goodbye! I wasn't here to tell him I love him and that he'd better hurry home...I didn't get to tell him—!" I cut myself off just shy of announcing my pregnancy. Am I ready to tell people yet? Shouldn't Syaoran be the first person to know? But...well, I won't be able to keep this a secret, and right now I just need some support...

"Calm down, Sakura, it'll be okay. Syaoran knows you love him, and he'll be back before you know it, so goodbye is not necessary. Oh, and here." Tomoyo reaches into her own bag and pulls out a large yellow envelope, handing it to me.

"What is this?"

"Syaoran wanted to give it to you, but...well, he gave it to me and told me to make sure you get it." Nodding, I clutch it to my chest, not ready to open it just yet.

"Now, tell me about this appointment. What kind of appointment kept you away?" Tomoyo raises one eyebrow as she studies me.

"A doctor's appointment."

"Okay. Does the puking have to do with why you were at the doctor? I mean, I didn't even know you were sick!" Tomoyo is giving me a narrow-eyed look as she says this, which makes me feel guilty for hiding the fact that I've been getting ill on a pretty regular basis.

"Yes, the puking factors in. Apparently, most people in my..._condition..._get sick."

"What do you mean, _condition_? What did the doctor say?" Tomoyo gets a worried furrow in her brow as she asks the question.

My composure slips, and the tears escape as I look Tomoyo directly in the eyes and say, "I'm _pregnant_."

"Oh! Oh, sweetie." She hugs me. "Oh, God...Syaoran doesn't know?"

"Of course not. _I_ just found out." I pull out of her hug and pace. "And now...shit, I have no idea how to go about letting him know about this. You both know how hard it is to get in touch with him when he is in Hong Kong. Plus, it sucks to have to tell him something this big over the phone."

"We'll figure it out, Sakura. Everything will be fine. Now, come on, I'll take you home because you're shaking and in no shape to be driving." She wraps her arm around my shoulders and guides me out of the airport. I give a vague description of where my car is, as I wasn't really paying attention when I parked, and we somehow manage to find the thing.

"Nice parking job," Eriol teases me when we reach my car; I crack what is probably a pretty pitiful smile. The ride to Syaoran and my apartment is mostly quiet, only the radio creating any noise as Tomoyo maneuvers through the streets. When we reach the apartment, Tomoyo begins questioning me in earnst.

"How far along are you?"

"The doctor said I'm about eight weeks, or two months."

"When are you due?"

"November 24."

"When is your first ultrasound?"

"I'm scheduled for one at ten weeks, on April 28."

"When can we find out what you're having?"

"Not until about the five month mark. So, sometime in late June, early July."

"And when are you going to tell your dad and Touya?"

"I have no idea. _Shit_. They'll probably know before Syaoran! That's not right. The dad should know before anyone else!"

"Well...let's work on that. Obviously, Syaoran is on a plane right now, but tomorrow we are going to try to call him."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Oh, no, we're going to be positive, Sakura. We won't assume it isn't going to work. We will call him, and you **will** talk to him."

"Whatever you say, Tomoyo."

"You're damn right, whatever I say, because I'm always right. Just ask Eriol." She winks at him, and he shakes his head, though he is smiling.

"You've let her ego get out of control, Eriol. I thought we had that discussion already." I giggle as Tomoyo swats my arm. _Thank God for my friends_, I think.

Eriol and Tomoyo spend the rest of the day with me, trying to keep my spirits up, and actually somewhat succeeding. By the time they leave, I'm not a complete mess, at least. After I shut the door behind them, I snatch the package from Syaoran out of my purse and sit it on the coffee table. Staring at it for a while, I wonder what it could contain. Almost too afraid to open it, I keep putting it off one minute more until finally my curiosity wins out over my fear. The first thing I pull out is a hastily written letter from Syaoran, and just seeing his handwriting makes me want to cry. Instead, I focus on his words.

_Sakura,_

_I miss you already, and I love you. I know I haven't asked you properly, but I will, when I come back. Just...wear it, see how you like it._

_-Syaoran_

Reaching back into the envelope, I pull out a telltale aqua box with a white ribbon. Removing the ribbon, I open the box and remove the black ring box. With shakey hands, I lift the lid and forget to breathe when I see the gorgeous ring in front of me. A perfect round diamond flanked by square-cut sapphires set in white gold, and on the inside an inscription that says "Wo Ai Ni" which I know means "I love you" in Mandarin. I still cannot catch my breath, and I want desperately to share this with someone, but I'm all alone. With a huge smile on my face, I whisper "Yes," and slip the ring onto my left ring finger. Slowly, the happiness fades, as I realize that I'm left sitting here, alone in our apartment. Plus, I'm confused...does this mean we are engaged, or what? Great, more for me to analyze and obsess over. Sighing, I flip on the television and settle into the couch, studying the way the ring looks on my finger, how it fits perfectly, and wondering what this means for me now.

When I finally go to bed a few hours later, after staying up worrying and stressing and apparently upsetting the baby as I get sick again after eating dinner, I can almost convince myself to forget that Syaoran is gone, as the bed still smells like him. Submerging my head in the pillows, I breathe in his scent, and it calms me enough that I drift off to dreamland, where I don't have to worry about being pregnant or the ring on my finger or when my love will come home.

03/14/10


	3. Waiting

**Does Love Always Forget?**

_Hush now, watch the stars fall  
Into a fire wall  
I am waiting here  
Waiting for you to come home…_

_And I watch them burn  
When will I ever learn?  
If I wait it doesn't mean  
You will return_

_-Norah Jones, "Waiting"_

**Chapter 2: Waiting**

Awaking with a jerk, I glare at the alarm clock blaring on the bedside table. Syaoran always joked about how it was so loud it probably woke our neighbors, but I'd always been a deep sleeper and had occasionally slept through it. Now, though…my pregnancy has made me as light of a sleeper as Syaoran is, and I can finally understand how annoying this damn thing probably was to him. Reaching out, I smack harder than is necessary and send the alarm clock skittering to the floor, where it unfortunately doesn't break into pieces. Rolling onto my back, I grab the package of crackers I keep beside the bed and force a few down, slowly sitting up in bed. When I decide it is safe to get up, I make a trip to the kitchen to heat some water, and then go to empty my screaming bladder. This has all become routine to me: wake up, force crackers down and get out of bed slowly, followed by a trip to the bathroom and a mug of ginger tea. My morning sickness got ridiculous, and I actually wound up losing ten pounds before I figured out this little schedule. I hate it; I hate the crackers and I hate the ginger tea, but if it keeps me from puking and dry heaving for thirty minutes in the morning I'll gladly take it.

Glancing at the clock, I urge myself to hurry up, because today is my first ultrasound. I already had to call and reschedule the appointment once due to my sickness; I cannot be late to this one. As I take a shower, I cannot help but think about how this is a moment that should be shared with someone—it should be shared with the child's father. It should be shared with Syaoran.

Thinking about Syaoran makes me want to cry because I miss him, but at the same time thinking about him has always made me smile, too; it is making me feel very bi-polar, though I lean more towards depressed lately. We figured out early on that he forgot his cell phone…or rather, it must have fallen out of his carryon bag because we found it under the edge of the chair in the living room. Then, we tried calling the Li household and found that the number was no longer in service. As the weeks ground past, I became less hopeful of getting in touch with him. And, the one time he tried to call me so far, I was working late and of course had my phone on silent so I missed the call, and the number showed up as 'Private' on my caller ID so I could not call him back. I've listened to the voicemail he left about 5,000 times, but I have no idea what to do next. He has to know about this…but I apparently have no way of directly contacting him. It has been frustrating and tearing me apart inside, to say the least. I'm now twelve weeks pregnant with Syaoran's baby—I'm almost into the second trimester, for God's sake—and he is clueless!

After showering I stand there and stare at myself in the mirror for a moment…there is a definite change in my body shape: I already have a slight bump. Running my hand over my pooch, I sigh before throwing on some clothes, tossing my hair into a ponytail and leaving the apartment. Rushing through endless red lights and traffic I make it to the office building with fifteen minutes to spare. As I close the car door, my mobile rings and I answer without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mommy! Today's the big day! How are you feeling?" I smile at Tomoyo's enthusiasm. Without her and Eriol, I don't know what I would have done so far.

"So far so good…no puking, at least." The fact that I got eight hours of sleep and am still exhausted, I decide to keep to myself.

"Are you excited to see Peanut?" Tomoyo asks as I stand waiting for the world's slowest elevator. Tomoyo started calling the baby 'Peanut' when she read some article about a week ago about how the fetus was approximately the same size as a peanut and it is starting to stick: she has Eriol doing it now, too.

"I don't think there is a word to describe my current emotional state. Plus, I have to pee like a race horse. Again." The doctor told me that I need a full bladder to get better images, but I think I might explode before we even get that far.

"Well, I can't help you there. But give me a call when you're done and regale me with every detail." I can hear a voice in the background on Tomoyo's side and then she says, "Crap, I'm sorry, I have to go. There is a minor disaster with a client on the floor."

"Don't worry about it. I'm about to the office anyway. I'll talk to you later. Good luck!"

"You, too, honey." Ending the call, I smile as I wonder what constitutes a "disaster" for Tomoyo. She owns her own clothing boutique, and employs the best seamstresses to help her bring her creations to life. I'd be hard pressed to come up with a reason why anybody would ever complain about something Tomoyo created. As I'm thinking about this, I find myself in front of the door into the doctor's office. Creeping into the office right on schedule, I hardly have to wait before I am being called back.

"Sakura Kinomoto?"

"Yes! Here!" Ugh, I sound like a teenager responding to roll call on the first day of school! The nurse smiles at my reaction, and leads me into an exam room.

"Okay, Miss Kinomoto, I just need to get your weight and blood pressure really quick and then I'm going to have you change into the gown that's on the table." She has me stand on the scale and then she pumps the cuff up on my arm, and takes the reading. "Hmm."

"What?" I ask right away.

"Nothing to be too worried about, your blood pressure is 127 over 85, which is a bit high but not worrisome. It might be elevated because you are anxious about your appointment."

"Well, I was definitely worried about getting here this time!" She smiles at me, pats my leg and leaves the room so I can change into the gown. Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Masui enters the room and smiles a greeting.

"Hello, Sakura. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling decent. I've had a really hard time with the morning sickness recently—it has definitely intensified. I have it mostly under control in the morning, but in the early evening it is really bad. And my exhaustion is out of control. If left to my own devices, I could probably sleep all night and day and still be tired. And my clothes all feel tight on me. Other than my more stretchy clothes, nothing fits right!"

Dr. Masui nods her head and takes some notes on my chart. "Okay, so you've had some intense sickness and fatigue. We'll measure the baby when we do the ultrasound to make sure he's developmentally where he should be—we might have to adjust your due date a bit. And I see you have an elevated blood pressure. We're going to keep a very close eye on that, because high blood pressure can be a sign of more severe problems. It is nothing to worry about right now—it is just borderline high, but I'm going to want you to stay on top of that. Anything else? No abdominal pain or bleeding? Headaches? Indigestion?"

"Nope."

"Okay, great. We're going to go ahead and take this baby's first photo, sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful." As I'm saying this, I can feel that my smile is strained. It isn't that I don't want to see my baby—I'm excited about this pregnancy, and I definitely want this baby; I just wish that Syaoran was here with me. He _should_ be here. Everything is harder when he isn't here.

"This is going to be cold." Dr. Masui says as she raises the gown and squeezes gel onto my abdomen, and then she proceeds with the ultrasound. Right away, I hear the heartbeat…but it sounds odd to me, like it is echoing or something. _Please don't let anything be wrong_, I pray, wringing my hands together as I stare at the screen, having no clue what I'm looking at.

"Well how 'bout that." Dr. Masui points to the screen. "See this right here?" I nod. "And this here?" I nod again, too afraid to open my mouth. "Those are your babies."

"Babies…_plural_?" I blurt out, my stomach churning almost painfully.

"Yes, twins. Listen, you can hear the two heartbeats." We are both quiet as I listen to my children's hearts race. "It is too early to determine gender, and I cannot tell you right now whether they are fraternal or identical. There is a membrane separating them, but it is pretty thin so we'll just have to wait a few more weeks to see if we can't figure out the gender." Dr. Masui moves the wand around, taking pictures and easing most of my worries.

"They look perfectly healthy so far. They are a good size, especially for multiples. This would help to explain your extreme symptoms and the fact that you are starting to show, too. Women pregnant with multiples often complain of more severe fatigue and morning sickness, and they start looking pregnant earlier. This also makes me all the more insistent that we keep an eye on that blood pressure, though." I'm still sitting in shock. It was hard enough when I thought it was going to be just one child…but two? Shit, we _have _to get in touch with Syaoran. At the same time, though, I cannot help but be excited. This pregnancy just got _very_ real for me.

Dr. Masui finishes up the visit and lets me go. I leave the office in a daze, my head somewhere else entirely. There is no way I can drive home right now, so I walk to the shopping center down the way and sit at a table at an outdoor cafe as I stare at the photos of my children…mine and Syaoran's children. I don't even realize I'm crying until my waitress asks if I'm all right.

"No. But I will be, don't worry." I reassure her, forcing a smile and wiping the tears from my face. She gives me an unsure smile and goes to attend to another table. Once she is out of earshot, I get out my mobile and dial a familiar number. There is no more putting this off; my pregnancy is already starting to show, and it will only get worse from here on out.

"Kinomoto residence."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Sakura, hello. What are you up to? I thought you'd be at work."

"No…I have the day off today. Listen, I need to talk to you. What are you up to today?"

"Well, I'm home today. I've been packing, getting ready to go to that dig in Kenya." Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten Dad would be leaving for a dig. "You're more than welcome to come over any time you want, though. Are you all right, Sakura?"

"Yeah, Daddy, I'm fine. I'm…I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay." Dad sounds a little surprised. It isn't often that I'm so short on the phone, especially with him. Leaving some money on the table, I walk back to my car and before I know it, find myself in front of the house I grew up in. With a deep breath, I make my way into the house, announcing my arrival while I toss down my purse and keys. Dad appears from the kitchen.

"Hey, sweetie. That didn't take long."

"No, well…I wasn't at the apartment when I called."

"Ah. So what did you want to talk to me about?" He gestures to the living room, and I head that way as I begin talking. I'm not really sure why I'm so nervous about talking to my dad…Touya is the one that is going to give me grief.

"Um…you see…it's sort of…a long story."

"For you, Sakura, I have all day." Sometimes I wonder if Dad is so cool about things because he knows that Touya and I will be super hard on ourselves. Dad sits down on the couch; I sit next to him and heave a big sigh before I start talking.

"Okay…you know that Syaoran left for Hong Kong about a month ago."

"Yes. I remember you were very upset because you didn't get to see him off, and you haven't been able to get in touch with him since."

"That's right. What you don't know is that…when Syaoran left, the reason I was late getting to the airport?" My voice fades, and I stare at my hands in my lap. Dad lets me regroup without comment, and finally I look up, meeting his eyes. "I had a doctor's appointment that took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"And what did you find out at this appointment?" There is a hint of fear in Dad's voice, which spurs me into just blurting my news out.

"I-I'm pregnant." Dad visibly deflates, putting his head in his hands for a second before he sits up straight again.

"Is that all?" I nod. "Thank God. I thought you were about to tell me you had cancer or were sick with some incurable illness." I suppose, after what happened to Mom, he would worry about something like that.

"Oh, it gets better." He gives me his attention again. "I was at the doctor earlier…for my first ultrasound."

"Really? How far along are you?"

"I'm twelve weeks pregnant with twins, Daddy." This causes him to falter for a moment.

"And Syaoran doesn't know about any of this?"

"No. I didn't get to tell him before he left…and I _knew_ this was going to happen before he left!" Dad gives me a funny look. "That I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him. It's how it has always been. When Syaoran is in Hong Kong, under the thumb of the Li Clan, he might as well have disappeared off the face of the earth." Dad remains quiet, staring off into space, and finally I cannot hold myself together—what can I say, I'm overflowing with hormones! With tears leaking down my face, I timidly ask, "You don't hate me now, do you Daddy?"

"Of course not, Sakura! You're my daughter; you know I'll support you no matter what. I'm just worried about you. This is a lot to be dealing with. And you still have to tell Touya." I cringe at that. Dad reaches over and pulls me into his side, wrapping his arms around me in a much needed hug. Enveloped in my dad's arms, I finally crack and let loose my sobs, turning my head to bury it in his chest. He just lets me cry.

* * *

After literally crying myself to exhaustion at Dad's, he insisted I stay there for the night. I acquiesced after I ran into the wall walking into the kitchen, and spent the evening showing Dad the ultrasound pictures and being distracted from my troubles helping Dad prepare for his dig. This morning, I woke up feeling much better about everything. Even my morning sickness decided to take the day off. Wishing Dad a safe trip, I'd got into the car and driven to meet up with Tomoyo at a café for breakfast. Which is where I currently am—sitting at the table waiting for Tomoyo to get here. It is not very normal for me to be early and her late, though.

"Hey, girl! Look at you, all punctual!" I laugh as Tomoyo takes a seat across from me. "Okay, let's see it!"

"See what?"

"See what she says! Peanut—my niece or nephew!" With a smirk, I reach into my purse and hand over the photos. "Wow…I have _no_ idea what I'm looking at." Laughing, I reach out and turn the top photo right side up.

"I love you, Tomoyo. The world would be a sad place without you." She rolls her eyes at me and raises an expectant eyebrow. I reach out and point to one of the photos.

"Well, this right here is a niece or nephew."

"Oh! They're so tiny!"

"And this," I point again, "is your _other_ niece or nephew." Tomoyo's head shoots up at that, her mouth hanging open.

"Are you saying what I think you are?"

"If you think I'm saying I'm having twins, then yes."

"Oh my God!" Tomoyo squeals, fanning her face with the hand not holding the photos. "Two peanuts! This is so exciting! How much longer until we can find out what they are?"

"Not for another eight weeks, Tomoyo."

"Darn. Well, I suppose they are stuck with Peanut for now!" Tomoyo tears her eyes from the pictures and must catch something on my face. "What's the matter?"

"I just…this is hard, Tomoyo."

"Is this about Syaoran?"

"Yes. Look at them, Tomoyo! They are ours—his and mine. He doesn't even know they exist!"

"Well, we'll do something about that. As soon as we finish eating we'll go to the apartment and send him an e-mail."

"I don't want to tell him—"

"We aren't going to tell him about the peanuts in the e-mail, Sakura. We're going to set up a time for him to call…that way, you'll be sure to answer the phone." It's the best idea anybody has had since it became clear the phone was not going to work.

"Actually, before we do that, do you think you could go with me to see Touya?"

"Are you finally going to tell him? Have you told your dad yet?"

"I told Dad yesterday after my appointment. And yes, I'm finally going to tell Touya, but I'd rather not go there alone. Granted, I'll have Yukito there as support, but this is going to be news to him, as well. I'd really rather have an ally going into this."

Laughing, Tomoyo says, "You make this sound like peace negotiations in the Middle East! It is just Touya! I'd be the first to say that he's overprotective, but he _is_ your brother, and while he may be angry at first, he'll get over it."

"I know I'm being a wuss."

"Well, you said it, not me. Besides, you aren't being a wuss, you're being irrational. Touya is not going to disown you or anything. The only person that had to be worried isn't here." She is right, and I know she is. Syaoran is the one that Touya will want to tear apart, and he is safely in Hong Kong…possibly the only good thing about that. We finish up breakfast and Tomoyo accompanies me to Touya and Yukito's apartment.

Knocking on the door, I step back and bite my lip. Tomoyo notices and lightly smacks me on the arm. "Sakura, seriously, calm down!" Shaking her head, we both turn to the door when it opens to reveal Yukito.

"Sakura, Tomoyo, what a surprise! Come in!" He steps back and opens the door more to admit us. "What brings you here?"

"Sakura has something she needs to talk to you and Touya about."

"Sure, let me get Touya. Make yourselves at home," Yukito says as he walks further into the apartment. Tomoyo grabs my arm and drags me into the living room. Perhaps she somehow knew that I was thinking of turning tail and running.

"What brings you here so early, Monster?" Touya asks as he and Yukito come into the room to join us.

"Funny, Touya."

"Well?"

Sighing, I look at Tomoyo, who crosses her arms. I'm on my own for this part. "Okay…I have something I need to tell you, but you have to _promise_ you won't overreact or get mad." He looks confused, and doesn't reply right away. "Touya? Promise!"

"Yeah sure, I promise. Now what is going on?"

With a deep breath, I say, "I'm pregnant." Touya and Yukito both look dumbfounded. "With twins," I add, and this seems to push Touya into action again.

"You…you're _pregnant_? How long?!"

"I am twelve weeks along." Touya had been pacing, but at this, he turns and stares at me in astonishment.

"And I'm just now finding out!"

"Well, I only told Dad yesterday. I sort of…I wanted to tell Syaoran first, but…I need you and Dad, so I couldn't put off telling you any longer."

"Wait wait wait…_Syaoran_ doesn't know yet?"

"No. He had to go back to Hong Kong, remember? And I didn't know before…I was at the doctor the day he flew out. And the Li Clan…well, it is impossible to get in touch with Syaoran when he's there."

"Are you shitting me?! I'll go to China myself and drag that brat back here! I can't—"

"Touya! Calm down!" Yukito intervenes. "Can't you see that your sister is upset and scared? She needs you to not blow a gasket this time. She needs you to support her." After pacing for a minute, Touya seems to have calmed down enough to think rationally.

"Sakura, you know you can count on me. I'm here whenever you need me." He pulls me into a hug, and I cling to him.

* * *

"Do you think four movies are enough?" Tomoyo asks as she comes in the door of the apartment weighed down by several bags.

"Four? I sure hope so. What else do you have?"

"Snacks."

"Um, Tomoyo, we have noodles, remember? We stood in line to get them..?"

"I remember, Sakura. I just figured we might want something to munch on during the movies."

Tomoyo puts in the first movie, some popular vampire romance, and we sit down with our ramen to watch it. It becomes clear five minutes into the movie that it is not only a crappy story line, but also some of the worst acting we've seen since _Gigli_…and we didn't even see that movie—the previews were enough. We spend the entire movie mocking everything. When it finally ends, Tomoyo puts in the next DVD but does not press play. Instead, she directs me to my laptop and commands me to write the e-mail to Syaoran.

"I don't know what to say, though."

"Well…I don't know, either." With a groan, I just start writing.

_Syaoran,_

_I hope that this finds you in good health. I myself have not been doing so well… I'm not really sure how to go about this in an e-mail. To be honest, this makes me feel awkward, but here goes. I've tried to call you, but your cell phone is here and I cannot get through any other way, so this is my last resort short of coming to Hong Kong. It is __**really important**__ that you call me, Syaoran. And since I don't know what your schedule is looking like, I'll give you a few times that you are guaranteed to catch me: Anytime tomorrow (Sunday), Monday after 6:30, or Wednesday between 1 and 4. I hope to talk to you soon._

_Love,_

_Sakura_

"There…how is that?" Tomoyo reads the message over my shoulder.

"Looks good to me. Hit send." I do as she says, and then immediately begin worrying about everything I said, how long it will take for him to receive this, and when he will respond. Tomoyo, I'm sure, senses that I am going into anxiety overdrive and distracts me with more movies and food. She is actually fairly successful at distracting me, as when I drift off to sleep some time during the fourth movie, all I'm thinking about is how weird the screenwriter must be.

* * *

Weeks pass by, each one killing more and more of my hope that Syaoran is going to call. After that first week passed with no word, I broke down and told Kero what was going on. He predictably went off on a tangent about how he told me so and that Syaoran is a good for nothing blah blah blah. Needless to say, we got into a fight and Kero is now staying with Touya and Yukito, where I'm sure he is driving Yue crazy and plotting bodily harm to Syaoran with Touya. Now that Kero isn't here, it is really lonely in the apartment. Most nights I find myself breaking down and listening to Syaoran's voicemail…

"_Sakura… Syaoran. It's been really chaotic here—things are more mixed up than they let on when I was called back. I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again, or to just hear your voice." _Somebody says something to him in the background. _"I have to go. I love you."_ Then he hangs up.

I know that I'm probably only making myself more depressed, but I can't help myself. Hearing his voice makes me feel better temporarily, and then the message ends and everything crashes down on me again. Nothing makes sense to me, anymore; I don't understand what has happened, though I have my theories. Eriol and Tomoyo pretty much agree with me when I rant about the Li Clan being up to something. There is no reason that Syaoran should have so thoroughly disappeared from my grasp, unless they made it happen.

Everyone is worried about me—even my doctor. I'm too thin, and I always look so pale in the mirror. Plus, my blood pressure has continued to go up and I've started to get headaches, which seriously concerns my doctor. Tomoyo has tried everything to cheer me up, but short of conjuring Syaoran I can't help but feel her efforts are in vain. Finally, three and a half weeks after I sent the message, the phone rings. However, it is not who I was wishing on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Sakura?" A strange voice enquires. For reasons I will never understand but always thank, I press the button and record the call.

"Yes…who is this?"

"This is Yelan Li."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So! Sorry this was delayed. I'm pretty much always crazy busy, and then on top of my normal schedule I was watching the NCAA Basketball Tourney until last weekend...when my beloved UK Wildcats lost. I think it is funny that they are my team of choice, since I never went to UK. It is because, when I lived in Kentucky it was the first place I lived that was so into college basketball, and my friends there got me excited about it. Ever since, I've rooted for the Cats. Anyway, I actually finished up this chapter a few days ago but just did not get around to posting it until today. Let me know what you think! I _love_ feedback, guys! Later, Gilly


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